So, I think it was May that I was on here last. Really I created this blog for a class, but think it will be a great journal for myself. Not sure, since I only keep a journal on my vacations and do not even finish those. But I will shoot for trying.
I am sure that has been lots of news that has gone on since my last post. A new niece, soon to be niece-in-law, a new house, a one year wedding anniversary, and I am sure much more than that. God only knows what 2010 holds and we have to trust in Him for guidance.
Each year we make resolutions and I always find one monkey on my back that I never seem to tackle, weight. Lots of people make this a resolution, but why do I not tackle it. I always make check lists or to do lists and love checking stuff off, but I can't seem to check this one off. Well, except in the year 2006 I didn't have it on my list. What was different? Why the change? What has happened since?
Well, I joined Weight Watchers (WW) in May 2004 with my sister in hopes to lose weight for my brothers upcoming wedding. I think by the end of June I had lost 2lbs. So, as the school year started and my sister quitting I began my journey. I finally lost about 36-40lbs by Nov. 2005. I was on top of the world. Yet, when I looked in the mirror I didn't always see the changes before me. I still thought I looked like my pathetic, fat, sad self. 2006 rolls around and I guess a little bit of food here and little bit there and a few pounds here and a few pounds there wasn't going to hurt. I was already up about 6lbs by the middle of 2006 and by the time I got married in 2008 I was up a total of 13lbs. That is not too bad from Nov. 2005 to June of 2008.
So, the wedding hits and then it was downhill from there. I am not sure if it was a lot easier to compromise with food or what, but since the wedding I have gained 33lbs in a year in a half. Now, I know you are saying, "well you got married that is what is supposed to happen." But not to me. That is just a mere excuse. I think too often we look for an out and find the most normal excuse used by all and voila that has to be the reason. I think there is more to it. I think it is much deeper than that. I think it goes back to what I saw in myself when I first lost the weight. I think my body changed in number, but my mind did not. I think I only worked on losing weight instead of strengthening my mind as well.
So, this year I will learn to be "okay" with a little cheating. I will not think the world and diet is over because I had one or two pieces of candy from work. Or that if I have a coke or ice cream the world is over. I fought so hard with myself that I didn't learn to accept failure when it happened. Instead I was ready to give up and throw in the towel. Well, of course in 2005 this wasn't the case because I am so competitive. My sister had joined and quit on me a few times. So, my journey was alone and a competition with well I guess those that were struggling. Of course, as most of my competitions go my opponent does not know we are competing. Not sure why that motivates me, but it does. Probably if they beat me and I know it then I will quit.
So, a new approach is not only to exercise my body and eat right, but to exercise my mind as well. So, to all with this struggle you can do it and I can too!
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Well at first read I was defensive about the "my sister is a quitter" references that jumped out at me from the page but then I had second thoughts. I did quit. So I thought about why I quit. I wasn't as in to it as you were not that I didn't want to lose weight but if you weren't doing well I would feel weird because I did and if you did well and I wasn't then I wanted to give up. It was just easier to quit I guess.
ReplyDeleteSo now I've made a random resolution and I think we should both stick with it. See how far this journey of getting our minds and bodies healthier will take us. It'll be a win-win situation in the end if we really do what we say. And I think we can.
Let's learn to toss aside the negative self-talk and embrace ourselves for our inner beauty. I'm with you and not sure about the competing part but if it helps you then let's go for it.
I start tomorrow and I'm going to try and blog about my random resolution progress and I hope you do the same about your journey.
Love you Gina and I'm proud you're my sister.