Time

It seems that time just passes me by. I'm not really sure why I created this blog, because I ignore it daily. Honestly, I had to create it for a school project and in reality we never used them. I then thought it would be a cool idea to journal my thoughts, ideas, and just anything else up in this brain of mine, but sadly that came to a close. It just took more time than I was willing to invest.

I have never been one to write or even read for that matter. I honestly hate both of them and I'm a reading teacher. Hate is a strong word, so dislike both of them. I never grasped reading or writing like others. I always felt there were other ways to be spending my time. I can't sit and concentrate on any one thing, because my mind is always on the move. People have told me to read when I go to be and I think reading is not meant for bed. If I am going to get in bed then I am going to lie down and watch T.V. to put myself to sleep. I just don't get tired by reading, I get bored. And if reading is so great then why do people put themselves to sleep at night with it? Don't get me wrong I do read, but only when I am away from distractions. Which means on an airplane, in an airport, or just bored out of my mind in a hotel. I usually read three to four books a year and that is a lot for me. Again no desire to make time for it.

So, what do I do with my time? I really can't say, because I am not sure of it. I think my mind swirls with activities to create. I always felt I was not creative and that I did not have any artistic talent, so I think I search for things to do to become artistic. Sadly this turns into a waste of money and time. I'm like a child with a new toy. I play with my idea and try some things for a couple of weeks and off to the corner it goes. My mind thinks further through the process and I realize it will take time and I'm not going to give it.

I guess I will sit and wonder what I do with my time. If I figure it out I will let you know.

Cupcakes!

Well, these are long overdue photos of my cupcakes that I was making. Hope you enjoy them as much as my waist did. :)

Pineapple Upside down cupcakes





White chocolate cream cheese coconut cupcakes. These were so delish!

Well, you have to wait again as I am just now realizing that the rest of the pics are on my husband's camera. More deliciousness to come.

Working on the House

We have been real busy working on the house this last month. We kicked it all off spring break by painting two bedrooms. We started a third and have yet to finish it. In the meantime dad and Jarrett have been hard at work replacing three door jams. We technically have four that need to be fixed, but one is protected by the garage door. Man it is so nice that our doors fit snuggly and are not shaking anymore.

In the mean time our air conditioner broke. I get these sinking feelings in my stomach and just know something isn't right. A few weeks back we turned the air to get it going. It was a bit warm, but wanted to get that stinky air out first. Well, the house never really cooled. Jarrett always seems to think I jump to conclusions way to fast, so I agreed. However, my feelings were right. So, I jumped on to the Better Business Bureau and found some places. Called and had someone come out and told us our compressor was out. FANTASTIC!!! Well, they had to decide whether it was in warranty still or not. And it is!!! So, this week we are getting a new compressor.

Ever since I moved out I have not had a dresser. As a kid I had this old blue chest of drawers with some awesome superman, 6million dollar man, kiss fm stickers all over it. I am sure there were more, but those come to mind. When I moved to my bigger room at home I assumed the furniture that was there. Part of it was a dresser that my sister had used growing up. This dresser came from Levitz and am pretty sure it was about the same age as I was. Needless to say when I moved to my apartment I left it behind. So, back in 1986 dad built me a bookcase and as much as I love to read I had a built in book case and used that for books instead. Are you following me with what I did? Yep, I used the book case as a dresser. Of course, it was neat. Everything folded and had its place. Not sure why I never got a dresser, guess never found one I like. I got married and he didn't have a dresser either, and here we are still using the dresser together. I know sweet right!? Well, this weekend we bought brand new bedroom furniture and yes it included a dresser. We had been saving money since the wedding and for just this very purpose. It will be delivered FRIDAY!!, Which brings me back to getting the bedroom painted. We are going to frantically paint. We finally decided on the stripe color. We are in good shape.

Haven't baked in awhile, but will post those pics. I know I keep saying it, but will do it soon.

Tonight I am going to the Ranger game. Excited since it has been awhile and excited I get to spend time with my in-laws. Should be a fun night.

America's Pastime

On Monday the 5th I will venture out to Arlington like every year. I have been going out there on Opening Day for at least the last 10 years if not 12. It is something I enjoy. The opening day of baseball feels like the first day of spring. Now, I have been before when it is so cold and windy, but still feels like spring. I love walking in and soaking up ever bit of the stadium as if I have never been there before. I can hear the vendors shouting their foods in hopes buyers will buy. I can smell the hot dogs, hear the music, and I get to watch batting practice. When I watch baseball my mind is free of any distractions. I have been an avid fan ever since I was a little kid. I remember I used to turn on my clock radio and listen to the game broadcast on WBAP and fall asleep listening. I don't think mom and dad knew I was doing that, but I had to hear my favorite players announced and hear a victory.

I think baseball was just a part of my life ever since I can remember. I used to play softball and I would envision myself as Dean Palmer and how he would retrieve a ball and I would try to copy him. I was so excited for my 13th birthday I got a Julio Franco batting title t-shirt. And when Pudge Rodriguez joined our team he became my all time favorite player. I have collected almost baseball card of his.

I know many hate the sport, but yet for some reason I enjoy a good ole' game of a stick, ball, and bases. Something about it just excites me. So another year comes and another year I will enjoy my favorite sport of all time. LET'S PLAY BALL!!!

Spring Break is here!

Now I am not sure if I like that it is spring or the break. I think a little of both. It is nice to see all the plants and trees coming back to life again, by showing their true beauty. I really wish I had more planned for my break, but why do I feel like I always have to go somewhere? I think it is because I like to travel and stay in hotels. Just fun to get away from home.
We decided against a last minute trip to Chicago because we knew we had found it cheaper about a month ago and wanted to save the money for our big summer trip. Right now our plan is to go to Paris, but we will see how that will work out for us. At least we want to go to Europe again. Got to get another use out of the passport. Plus EVERYONE says we must travel before children. And who knows when that will be.
So we are going to work around the house and take a small trip up to the Choctaw casino on Wed. Hopefully, I will have some luck and win big.
Bought some sample paints for the house and will be painting both bathrooms and the office before the week is up. Hopefully we will get all of the touch up stuff finished as well. We are even thinking about buying new living room furniture. And we want to paint our bedroom, plus start a garden, buy a lawnmower and weed eater. That sounds like a busy week to me. Hopefully we accomplish something on this list. I just feel like our house is blah because we have nothing that connects. All of our furniture is just a pish posh of what we had when we got married, so time to update. Now is as good a time as any.

Sweetness

Well, I have been in the kitchen lately making and baking cupcakes. Some of the flavors are chocolate peanut butter cake with a peanut butter filling and chocolate icing. Another is strawberry with a chocolate ganache. And last I made raspberry flavored white cupcakes with a raspberry buttercream. I will post pictures soon, but those are just of few of my creations lately.

More to come. I think I am going to try coconut with a white chocolate icing. My newest creations that I thought of will be pineapple upside down cupcakes and well you have to help me decide an order. I think chocolate cake with a mint buttercream with mini chocolate chips on top, mint white cake with a chocolate ganache. White cake baked with chocolate chips(not sure this will work) and a green mint buttercream.

This could be the reason I have trouble with food. : )Except I don't care for the cake as much as the icing. YUM!

End of an Era

So, tonight marks the first Monday night in eight months that I am not going to boot camp. Kind of a sad day. I miss my evening workout and know that I can't just sit at home. I have built up so much strength that I don't want that to go to waste.

What now? Well, not totally sure. I think I am going to dust off the old 24hour gym card and start going back. My goal is to go at least 4 days a week. There is so much to do at 24, that when making out my gym schedule yesterday I was having a hard time choosing classes. How could I say no to Cardio Dance Party over Turbo Kick Boxing.

I know I can be dedicated and stick to it as far as exercising goes, it is the food. I think food is my nemesis. I just love it.

Night one of my exercise program. Well, went to a movie with Jarrett and was going to go to turbo kick box class, but he has to work on his day off. Go figure! He was going to go with me and I needed extra motivation today.

Hopefully tomorrow is different.

Pictures of my creations

I hope you like what you see. Tell me is this really creative or just like everyone else? I mean other ladies did make cakes with me.

Can you tell this is my first attempt ever?

My family thought it was nice, but they are my family what could they say?

First cake for cake class.

Not too bad if I do say so myself.
Not pleased with the colors, but now I know for next time.

This is one of my favorite ones. Just too cute!

Made this one for my sister-in-law and brother-in-law.
Can you see where I got the idea?

My attempt at free expression. The last cake in my class could be anything. I was going to give this to my sister that year, but it didn't turn out as well, so she got a fondant cake instead.

My attempt at non-edible cakes.

I have many more pictures of cakes and other things, but can't seem to find them all. I organize all of my photos by year and folder and date, but not always by name so I need to fix that. I was doing good through about 2007. Anyway, these are my attempts at creativity and not that great, but at least a start.

Creativity

I always wanted to be creative, but never had that bone in me. Jarrett always says it is my food, but I don't do anything with it. Nobody asks to buy cakes, chocolates, or cupcakes, and I don't do anything to promote it. It just seems like a lot of work. I am always looking for the ONE thing that I am good at. It is just so hard.

Lets see. Singing, no. Drawing, no. Writing, no. Comedian, no. Professional athlete, no. You see I feel like I have limitations unlike others who have natural gifts and that others see them do it. I just can't seem to find mine. Maybe that is why I am always trying new stuff.

Tried, to knit, make jewelry, crochet, embroider, quilt(well never actually started, but have some stuff for it), bake cakes, make chocolate candy, now my new thing is cupcakes and chocolate. I haven't quite given up on the chocolates yet.

As usual I toyed with the idea of making my own cupcakes and selling them. For some reason my mind is set on selling my food. I think, by now, I am a pretty good cook. I wouldn't say chef like, but working my way there. (I have always wanted to go to culinary school when I was little, but just thought it wouldn't work out so well, since I have never liked onions and bell peppers and so I thought my chances were slim. And now I want to go to pastry school.) And as usual I give up on my ideas just about as fast as I start creating them. I mean when I create my ideas it goes all the way through purchasing a place of business and me becoming the CEO with all kinds of chefs under me. I quickly realize that it will not happen that fast for me and lose interest all together. Then I try to talk myself out of it. But why? I mean if I am looking for some way to be creative why don't I just try it? Maybe it is money. I don't want to spend the money and then it fail. I think that may be a big reason, but unless I try it then what have I got to lose?

I have been thinking about this cupcake thing for about a month. I figured that I love baking and like doing cakes, and this would be just a simpler version. After talking myself out of it I have now talked myself back into it. This past weekend I bought all the stuff to make the cupcakes and the vision in my head is slowly starting.

What are you creative with?

Passion

Have you ever had something you were passionate about? I mean you thought about it all the time and at times you would do something with it. Well, mine is food. Go figure, since I go to WW and all. Of course it would be food. I think my passion is more than just food. It is all about pleasing people. I want to make people happy at the sight of the food, while eating it, and after as well. I want them to want more of my food.

Before I got married I cooked, but not too much. It wasn't due to lack of knowledge, rather lack of wanting to have leftovers for the whole week for just me. So, every now and again I would tinker in the kitchen. When I got married I realized that Jarrett likes to be in the kitchen as much as I do. We cook together or cook something for each other. It is just fun.

One of my favorite parts of the cooking is baking. When I was little my mom used to bake for us all the time. We were the kids that got to take snacks to church that everyone loved and were wanting more. That always made me happy. I knew my mom was a good cook, but the truth was when others agreed too.

For awhile I was the only kid living in the house. My sister was married and my brother was living the single life. Mom and I used to bake. Not too often, but enough where I liked it. I think my favorite part was the mise en place. That is french for putting everything in place. I loved getting all the ingredients ready and set aside for our baking adventure. We baked the most at Christmas time. In fact we now have what we call Bake and Take every year.

One Valentine's Day Jarrett enrolled me in a cake making class. It was a class to learn how to decorate cakes. He even took the first class with me. I LOVED it. It was so much fun and therapeutic in a way. I could just let my mind at ease and work on my cake. I loved it so much that I took all four classes that summer and then the next summer I took my nieces. But, nobody was requesting cakes and I didn't have my name out there so I stopped doing it. I made my last cake back in 2007.

SO, why a passion that will kill anyone's diet? To please people and make people happy, which makes me happy. What is your passion? Have you thought about it?

Debate

So, I debated whether or not to go back to Weight Watchers(WW). Then two weeks ago on Monday I received a Weight Watcher magazine. I thought it was kind of odd, since I have not subscribed to the magazine since 2007. So, I took it as a sign to join. I hemmed and hawed all week long and finally decided to go and join. I went last Saturday and to my surprise Jodie was still there.

A little back history. I joined WW back in 2005 with my sister in hopes to lose weight and became a life-time member in November of 2006. Kept the weight off for about two years got married and gained a lot back.

So, as I was saying Jodie was there and I felt at ease. I got on that crazy scale and was not surprised at my total. Went back this week and I’m a LOSER! Now, I don’t go around bragging that I am a loser often, only when I do well at WW and lose weight. I tried this week, but not as hard as I could have, but I lost 2.4lbs. YEA me!

For the month of January I am down 5lbs! Not too bad a way to start the year off.

Cooking at Home or Out to eat?

So, it is true that cooking at home helps cut down the budget and waistline. I guess that all depends on what you are cooking. Jarrett made a little shopping/planning sheet for each week. It isn't anything too complicated and not sure why this is working. We have tried all kinds of things from cooking all of the meals on Sunday to planning out each meal on Sunday. For some reason writing out the shopping lists of the recipes one of us has picked and then heading to the store to retrieve those items is helping.

Each week we decided that one person would pick out all the recipes. We pick enough for M-Th and the plan is Friday to be left overs. Well, it is my week and I thought how great I only have to plan two meals. I am going out to eat with some folks from work on Tuesday and Wednesday. I decided though that I can't plan a week to lose weight when I am out to eat and tempted by all the things I love. So, I cut it down to one day out and I feel good about it.

We have been cooking a lot at home lately. Don't get me wrong we always cook, but for some reason I find myself not wanting to eat what we have planned for the week and can't stop thinking of the good food that is prepared as fast as I can say I would like a #3 no onions. (Can anyone guess what restaurant I am at?)

So as tough as it can be sometimes I have to remind myself that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. A little saying that my former Weight Watcher leader, Barb, used to say.

Weight Update

So, I am about to start my fourth week of bootcamp and I have lost 2.5 pounds. That is almost a pound a week, which feels a little slow, but better than gaining. I feel stronger and so good after a workout. Kind of debating going back to Weight Watchers.

Two Funerals in one week

So, on Jan. 9 I went the funeral of my teacher's aide. She died of Leukemia after battling it for 23 months. So, that was my start to the weekend. During that weekend my mom was giving me updates on my Grampa. He wasn't doing well, but all was okay. I found out on Tuesday night that they were sending him home on hospice. So, it went from bad to worse fast. Needless to say he died in his sleep on Jan. 13.

So the debate was who was going to the funeral and when we would leave. That all would depend on when the services were being held. We found out the services were on Saturday. So Mom, Lisa, Frankie, and myself all went. We were going to leave at 10:55 and we boarded and started to back away from the gate. I realized that we were pulling back up to the gate. So, come to find out there was a bad part in the engine and that it would take at least 45 min. to fix. Finally, after waiting two hours we switched planes. Once we were almost to the next flight our previous flight took off. We finally arrive and we are starving. We have not had lunch at all. So, we head to El Taco Tote, which we have been there before, but it was just as delicious. Got to Gramma's about 3:45 and then waited around for about 40min. before we left for the service.

We headed to the funeral home to say goodbye to my amazing Grampa. It was very sad, but we got to see a ton of our family. So, that was nice. Afterward, we went back to Gramma's and hung out there visiting for a little bit. Then we went to dinner with my cousins, Gabriel, Fernie, and Crystal. These cousins have been our closest cousins. We always visited them when we were in El Paso. Had fun at dinner and then finally went to the hotel and got there at 12:30 El Paso time. WE were exhausted from such a crazy trip. Got up at 5:45 El Paso time and got ready to head home. Our plane was to leave at 8:20. We made it home. It was just such a whirlwind of a trip.

Great day back

Today was my first day back at work with kiddos and it went well. I missed them and, even though sixth graders will not admit it, they missed me. So, it was a good day. I think they were shocked that I had them do work. Hello, school isn't all fun and games. : )

I hope this semester is even more rewarding than the last. I have a really good group of kids that are eager to learn. I just want to make sure that I am delivering.

Get In Shape Girl!

Do you remember "Get In Shape Girl" from the 80's? That was the name of this awesome workout equipment I used to have. The cassette was so cool. Here is a commercial to refresh your minds.



Well, a little coaxing and encouragement and I rejoined thenorthdallasbootcamp.com. I didn't really quit. I just took December off and my instructor new that. So, after five glorious weeks without exercise, ugh I went back and am regretting every bit of it. I should have been doing more than I was, but I am back and that is all that matters.

To top it off tonight's meal was 100% bison steaks with steamed vegetables. YUMM!

I had a little post-dinner workout as well. I talked my husband into doing The Biggest Loser Wii Game. I could only hang for another 10 min. since I had already worked out an hour prior. I am so proud of him because he did about a 30 minute workout. Can't wait for tomorrow's dinner!

The ghost that haunted me!

So, as most of you know that follow this I don't sleep. I don't know what it is, but it all started in 2003 when I moved into my apartment. I would have panic attacks at first and then it was just watching tv during the wee hours of the morning. I guess as age comes I get up to use the restroom. Well, I really only do that because I think if I empty my bladder I will get back to my slumber.

So, for the past few days I have been having even more difficulty sleeping. I don't know if my body is resisting schedules again or if it is Jarrett's snoring. The guy can snore. That said I have been waking up more often. Last night I got up around 3:58 and yes I always look at the clock. I went to the restroom and climbed back into bed. I couldn't fall back asleep right away and the last I saw the clock it said 4:06. At 4:20 I pop up to some kind of noise. Side note: I just moved into a 2100 sq ft. house and have yet to walk around at night with all the lights off. Kind of creepy and partly due to all of my true crime shows that I love.

Back to the noise. I pop up and I say, "Jarrett did you hear that? I think it is coming from the bathroom." Trying to get anyone alert right out of sleep is hard enough, so Jarrett stumbled to the bathroom and opened the door. The hair dryer had turned on. He unplugged it and made sure it was off. Started back to bed and he decided to double check it. Now neither one of us were sure how it happened, but as the great husband that he is he fixed it. Or so I thought. I started my routine of trying to fall asleep and it went off again. So I asked, "What happened I thought you unplugged it?" He said, "I did, but then I plugged it back in." Of course agitated I am wondering why did he do that.

Well, he climbs back into bed and falls right to sleep. So, my mind starts to think, yep another reason why I probably can't sleep, about what would have caused that. I have used a hair dryer for a long time and have never had this happened. I thought you know sometimes he isn't as observant as I am, so I will just go triple check. Good idea right? I walked into the bathroom and that dryer was definitely in the off position.

Needless to say the Ghost Dryer Whisperer will be visiting tonight to make sure all is in check. Hopefully I will get some sleep since I have been up since 4:30. : (

There is always a new day!

So, I posted everything that I was feeling and thought that would also help boost me to the top. It did in more than one way. I had a great breakfast and great lunch yesterday. But then I went to the movies. BTW don't see Where are the Morgans? or something like that. Not that great.

Yesterday was my last day of Christmas break and Jarrett had the day off. We relaxed around the house and then ventured out to the movies. We had already set a plan earlier in the day, but just like two silly people we broke the plan. We went to the movie around 4:30. Just about the time I am getting hungry. Needless to say we shared a small popcorn and drink. But wait! You might be thinking not that bad.

So, we came home and made dinner. We made whole wheat cheese tortellini with pesto sauce, garlic cheese toast, and steamed vegetables. I thought all in all not so bad. And it really isn't, but then I pulled out the WW points tracker and boy oh boy. According to that I went over 20 points. Now I am not really doing WW, but thought I would attempt to journal and if I am doing that then why not just write the points. So, I thought okay, now I have a better grasp.

Then today starts. Well, we(ladies from work) always go out to eat on work days or staff development days. I brought a healthy lunch just in case. So, I had a great breakfast again. Then they wanted to go to Razoos. Do I say, "Oh, I am watching what I eat, then give my frozen meal to the waiter?" So, I went along. I thought hmm coke; yes. Now food. What do I get? Should I get the chopped salad with blakened chicken or the cheeseburger? Now if you know Razoos then you know it is a cajun place, thus I was trying to make a descent choice. Everything is pretty much fried there and if it isn't it is pretty darn close to just as healthy as being fried. So, what did I get? You guessed it, the cheeseburger. Now, I said yesterday I have to work on my mind and this is the start. It was a half pound burger and I am sure I could have eaten a lot of it and all the fries. Instead I gobbled all the fries and ate only half the burger. So I had a quarter pounder with fries. Not soo great, but could have been a lot worse. I sure did miss out on some fried catfish.

Tonight I start my bootcamp. I haven't exercised that much in about five weeks. I was going three nights a week. Over the course of five weeks I have exercised four times. And those times it took the encouragement from my workout buddy that I used to workout with to push me. I am sure I will be dripping sweat and beat after tonight is over. After all I have been up since 4:30 with the hair dryer ghost.

A long time coming...

So, I think it was May that I was on here last. Really I created this blog for a class, but think it will be a great journal for myself. Not sure, since I only keep a journal on my vacations and do not even finish those. But I will shoot for trying.

I am sure that has been lots of news that has gone on since my last post. A new niece, soon to be niece-in-law, a new house, a one year wedding anniversary, and I am sure much more than that. God only knows what 2010 holds and we have to trust in Him for guidance.

Each year we make resolutions and I always find one monkey on my back that I never seem to tackle, weight. Lots of people make this a resolution, but why do I not tackle it. I always make check lists or to do lists and love checking stuff off, but I can't seem to check this one off. Well, except in the year 2006 I didn't have it on my list. What was different? Why the change? What has happened since?

Well, I joined Weight Watchers (WW) in May 2004 with my sister in hopes to lose weight for my brothers upcoming wedding. I think by the end of June I had lost 2lbs. So, as the school year started and my sister quitting I began my journey. I finally lost about 36-40lbs by Nov. 2005. I was on top of the world. Yet, when I looked in the mirror I didn't always see the changes before me. I still thought I looked like my pathetic, fat, sad self. 2006 rolls around and I guess a little bit of food here and little bit there and a few pounds here and a few pounds there wasn't going to hurt. I was already up about 6lbs by the middle of 2006 and by the time I got married in 2008 I was up a total of 13lbs. That is not too bad from Nov. 2005 to June of 2008.

So, the wedding hits and then it was downhill from there. I am not sure if it was a lot easier to compromise with food or what, but since the wedding I have gained 33lbs in a year in a half. Now, I know you are saying, "well you got married that is what is supposed to happen." But not to me. That is just a mere excuse. I think too often we look for an out and find the most normal excuse used by all and voila that has to be the reason. I think there is more to it. I think it is much deeper than that. I think it goes back to what I saw in myself when I first lost the weight. I think my body changed in number, but my mind did not. I think I only worked on losing weight instead of strengthening my mind as well.

So, this year I will learn to be "okay" with a little cheating. I will not think the world and diet is over because I had one or two pieces of candy from work. Or that if I have a coke or ice cream the world is over. I fought so hard with myself that I didn't learn to accept failure when it happened. Instead I was ready to give up and throw in the towel. Well, of course in 2005 this wasn't the case because I am so competitive. My sister had joined and quit on me a few times. So, my journey was alone and a competition with well I guess those that were struggling. Of course, as most of my competitions go my opponent does not know we are competing. Not sure why that motivates me, but it does. Probably if they beat me and I know it then I will quit.

So, a new approach is not only to exercise my body and eat right, but to exercise my mind as well. So, to all with this struggle you can do it and I can too!